What I Wish We’d Learned In School
Why nervous system education belongs in classrooms — and how Big Love is helping make that happen.
I experienced what I now recognise as depression when I was around twelve years old. At the time, I couldn’t make sense of it — I felt loved by my parents and praised for my creativity, but inside, I carried a constant ache. I felt different, out of place. At school, I often felt like I was too much and not enough, all at once.
In primary school, I was physically bullied by a boy in my class. Only years later did I learn he was neurodivergent — something we didn’t have language or understanding for at the time. There were no frameworks for how to support him, or me. I don’t hold anger towards him — I hold deep frustration at the systems that failed us both. That experience shaped the way I think about safety, compassion, and inclusion — and why neurodiversity awareness and trauma-informed practice are now a non-negotiable part of my work.
By the time I moved into secondary school, the bullying shifted — but it didn’t stop. Girls, hormones, competition, comparison… my confidence crumbled under the weight of cruel comments about my appearance. It left me with a warped sense of self and an inability to fully trust others, especially peers. Looking back, I can see I was masking — performing who I thought I needed to be, while quietly self-harming and feeling completely alone. Only one friend knew. It was too much for either of us to carry.
And then, at thirteen, everything changed again. My father died suddenly while we were on holiday. It was life-shattering. Returning to school was unbearable. My younger sister was just starting secondary school — already a huge transition — and now we were both trying to survive the unthinkable. There was no grief support, no room to fall apart. We were expected to keep going, to catch up on homework, to perform.
All of this shaped me.
And all of this drives me.
Why I started sharing these tools
I didn’t learn about my nervous system until I was in my thirties. I didn’t understand how anxiety lives in the body — how it affects breath, sleep, focus, and the ability to feel safe. I didn’t realise there were simple tools that could help.
When I began sharing breathwork and nervous system practices with adults in 2020, I quickly saw how much we were all carrying. I also realised that most of us were never taught how to support ourselves. What started as yoga classes grew into something deeper — a space for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and nervous system education.
The more I taught, the more it became clear: these tools should’ve been taught in school. So in 2024, when I was invited to pilot a youth programme in Essex, I said yes.
That "yes" turned into eight primary schools, over 1,200 children, teachers, and parents — and the beginnings of something I had dreamed of for years.
The Big Love Youth Project
The Big Love Youth Project is a trauma-informed, neurodiversity-aware emotional wellbeing programme for primary-aged children — designed to build confidence, emotional literacy, and self-regulation skills.
It uses playful, creative tools to help children:
Understand their feelings
Express themselves safely
Learn simple strategies to manage stress and overwhelm
But it doesn’t stop there.
We also offer:
Staff training and check-ins
Parent workshops
Take-home resources that keep the conversation going at home
It’s not just about giving children tools — it’s about equipping the whole school community to support emotional wellbeing together.
Because emotional health isn’t a one-off lesson. It’s a culture. One we have to build intentionally.
Calm the Chaos – A Reset for Teens & Parents
In parallel with the school programme, I’ve been developing something for young adults and their caregivers: the Calm the Chaos 4-week reset — a live, online programme for teens (and parents) navigating anxiety, pressure, and overwhelm.
The programme focuses on:
Why anxiety shows up the way it does
How to regulate your nervous system with breath + body-based tools
Ways to ground yourself when your mind spirals
Creating a personal Calm Kit for real-life use
We start with a free taster session online on Tuesday 25th November, with the full 4-week programme running in January 2026. You can join live or watch the replays — no pressure to speak, just space to feel supported.
This programme is informed by my own experience of academic anxiety: mind blanks in exams, the shame of knowing something one minute and losing it the next. My mum was a qualified teacher and even she couldn’t understand why it happened. Now I do — and I want others to understand it too.
Why this work matters
Through my work with adults — many of whom are parents — I’ve learned that we can’t pour from an empty cup. We can’t co-regulate with children if we’re not resourced ourselves. That’s why our parent workshops focus just as much on helping the grown-ups as they do their children.
And that’s why this work isn’t just professional — it’s deeply personal.
Because if I can give just one child the knowledge that they are not broken, that their body is doing its best to protect them, that they can breathe and come back to themselves — then every part of this journey has been worth it.
Want to get involved?
💬 Share this with a school, parent, or teen who might benefit
Big Love,
Becki x