Supporting Children’s Emotional Wellbeing Through Change.
Guest contribution from Rachel Bloggs, MA UKCP, Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist.
In this post, we will be thinking about the best way to support children as they navigate school and change, as well as suggesting strategies to help with emotional regulation.
How can we help our children transition and thrive?
School, for many, is a safe haven. Supporting our children as they go through transitions involves working alongside them during this period of change. It’s important for them to know that they are not alone in how they are feeling and that it’s ok to have good and not so good days.
Here are some suggestions on how to help regulate your child’s emotions if they are feeling worried or unsettled.
Openness – be curious about their day. Ask open questions such as “how did you feel today?”, “what did you enjoy?” and “what was difficult?”
Empathy – children respond to feeling understood. When exploring how they are feeling, it helps to attune to what is present. Welcome all of their feelings and reassure them that it’s ok to feel this way. Knowing that they can bring difficult feelings home helps reduce anxiety and worry.
Patience – it can be difficult to see our children struggling, and we often just want things to feel “easier” for them. Patience with our children and ourselves, along with a lot of self-compassion, helps provide the emotional tools needed to move through challenges together.
How can we help manage oversensitivity and heightened emotions?
Children can become sensitive when navigating change, and feelings may become heightened during periods of uncertainty.
I would recommend a daily check-in with your child. Take time out of your day to reflect and explore together. Engaging regularly helps regulate overwhelming or difficult feelings. Your role as the parent or carer is to provide a safe space for this to take place.
When children engage with imaginative play, they process difficult feelings. Encourage unstructured play time, including dressing up, playing with toys, and making and creating.
Setting aside time in the day for this allows children to work through unconscious feelings that may be presenting as fear or anger. Some children can also become introverted when their feelings are heightened, so free play gives them space to act out in a situation where they feel in control.
How do we help children maintain focus and concentration?
A lot of children and young people find concentrating and staying focused challenging. It’s important to remember that each child is unique and learns in their own way.
Here are some tips that may help:
Set aside a reasonable amount of time for your child to practise focusing on a specific task. Allowing more time rather than less can help children feel empowered and successful if they complete something early.
Do one thing at a time. This helps prevent the brain from feeling overwhelmed. Include planned breaks so your child can reset before the next task.
Create a regular routine. Setting aside time and space for homework can help build structure. Try to keep this at a similar time each day and allow space for free time and a healthy snack beforehand.
Simple practices that support regulation
Belly breathing
Encourage your child (you can do this together) to sit comfortably and close their eyes or focus on something in front of them.
Place a hand on the belly or heart. Take a big breath in through the nose and out through the mouth to start with. Then breathe in for a count of two or three, imagining the breath travelling down into the belly. Breathe out for two or three counts.
Repeat this three to four times, or longer if needed.
Grounding through the body
Practising awareness in the present moment helps a child’s mind stay focused.
The “squeeze and let go” technique can help bring awareness into the body. Ask your child to tense different muscles for five seconds and then slowly release.
Navigating change in the parent–child relationship
Periods of change can sometimes lead children to rely more heavily on parents and carers.
Children of school age are usually developing independence and learning to make decisions for themselves. When routines shift, it can sometimes affect attachment patterns and boundaries.
You might notice increased anxiety when separating, resurfacing tantrums, or tension within the household. These responses are often completely understandable.
Creating time and space to reflect together can help families navigate change.
Name your feelings and talk about what you are worried about. It is also important to share positive experiences together, so that children do not internalise challenges as being their fault.
Helpful ways to support this transition
The bag of worries
Each person writes down a worry and places it into a “worry bag”. A worry can be added whenever needed. At the end of each week, take time together to reflect and explore how you can support each other.
Make time for connection
Spend time together away from screens and daily routines. Go for a walk in nature, cook together, watch a film, or dance to your favourite song.
Reset boundaries
Children need boundaries to feel safe and secure. Re-establishing routines and expectations can help create a sense of stability.
Final thoughts
Children are incredibly resilient. When they feel loved, safe, and understood, they are far better equipped to navigate change and uncertainty.
If you’d like to explore more guidance, practices, and expert contributions around emotional wellbeing and nervous system support, you can visit the Big Love Resource Hub.
Rachel Bloggs MA UKCP
